


Porcelain Doll

by AZookiex3



Series: Lucifer Morningstar & Reader Requests [4]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, F/M, Fluff, eating anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 22:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21023372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AZookiex3/pseuds/AZookiex3
Summary: How is it that friends you've had for years not realize that something is wrong, but your boyfriend of three months does?





	Porcelain Doll

**Author's Note:**

> Anon: Hi, could you write a Lucifer x fem|reader fic please, were the girl is younger but they fell in love and then he later finds out that she struggles with a slight form of anorexia, not really a serious one but she sometimes not comfortable with eating however she's actually pretty thin and he tries to help her and he's worried.
> 
> Rating: Teen  
Warnings: Anorexia, Eating Anxiety 
> 
> AN: This fic is loosely based on my own personal events. For many, many years I've had difficulty with swallowing food wherever I was, except at home. I used it to my advantage to "lose weight", aka basically starving myself. All that lead to was me having an awful stomach ulcer and little to no energy. Thanks to my mom, just last year I finally talked to my doctor about it and she gave me some pills to try. Apparently what I was suffering with was very common. Thanks to these pills I can finally eat out with my friends and family. Though I feel it may have made my depression worse, I'd rather have a few more bad days to being unable to eat. If this sounds like your situation, please talk to your doctor. They're meant to help you, and they won't judge you.  
AN: Updated August 23, 2020 - Grammar

"So, what's the plan for your 21st birthday girl?!" Your best friend Becky says across the table.

You, along with your group of friends, are eating at a diner not too far from your college. You've all just had a very successful rehearsal for the yearly college play extravaganza, and decided to celebrate with ice cream.

You pick at the straw in your milkshake, "I haven't really thought of anything."

"Oh please!" Jack exaggerates. He points his spoon at you, "There's  _ no way  _ you can't have  _ nothing  _ planned when you're dating that hunk!"

You shrug, "Really, I haven't thought of anything. I haven't had the time to think of a silly birthday with this play."

"A 21st birthday is  _ not  _ silly, it's important!" Jack complains.

"Seriously, Y/N. Tomorrow you'll finally be legal to raid that expensive bar whenever you want!" Becky sighs into her own milkshake, "An alcoholic's dream."

"Really, it's just a waste on her." Viv finishes her banana split, "You don't even drink heavily. I'll never understand why someone like him picked you."

You chuckle slightly.  _ Neither will I. _

You and Lucifer Morningstar first met back when you were a senior in high school. The circumstance wasn't ideal. One of the theater teachers was a creep that no one was willing to out. Then, that teacher set his eyes on you and you tore him up. The school's security sent you both to the LAPD station for questioning. 

When you arrived you passed by Lucifer, eyes meeting. You remember him looking quizzically between you and the highly beaten up chubby guy next to you. You didn't see him again until after the police let you out of interrogation saying you were free to go [all thanks to your fellow classmates for finally speaking the truth].

Lucifer sat down next to you as you waited for your parents. He was highly impressed that someone of your lithe frame could take down a guy twice, maybe more, your size. 

And since then you two have been in contact. The next time you were both face to face with each other was when he asked you to the local park three months ago and asked you out.

But since then, you two haven't spent too much time together. What with you being incredibly busy with this play and him with his club  _ and  _ LAPD job. 

"Hellooo! Earth to Y/N!" Becky waved her hand in front of your face.

You blink, "What?"

"You're phone's buzzin'." You quickly dig through your purse and retrieve your phone.

"Speak of the Devil!" Becky laughs when she sees his name as the caller id.

You snort and hush your friends down before answering, "Hello?"

" _ Hello, darling! I hope I'm not interrupting your rehearsal. _ " Lucifer's beautiful voice, that you love so much, reaches your ear.

"Oh no, you're not! We actually just finished about 15 minutes ago. I'm at a diner now with some friends." 

" _ Lovely! I'll make this quick then so you can get back to socializing _ ."

"I'd much rather listen to you." You whisper but Becky heard you anyways and punched your arm playfully.

Lucifer's laugh makes you smile warmly, " _ Well, if I remember correctly, tomorrow is your birthday yes? _ "

"Yup, it is." Your friends are all focused on you now.

" _ And it's the big 2-1 for you humans correct? _ "

"Ah, yes. The big adult number. Yup." You laugh.

" _ Then, if you have nothing planned, I'd like to take you out. Some dinner, then some wonderful dessert back at my place. How does that sound, love _ ?"

Your face immediately heats up as various thoughts run through your mind. All your friends start wooing and giggling, "Y-yeah, no. I mean! No, I haven't planned anything. And that sounds lovely!" You stutter out.

" _ Wonderful! I'll pick you up around 6pm. Can't wait to see you again, my dear. _ "

You smile, "Same to you, Lucifer. I'll see you then!" You hang up and are immediately bombarded with questions.

"Guys! Chill out!" You hush them down again, "Yes that was him and yes he's taking me out tomorrow for my birthday."

"Thank You oh mighty Lucifer!" Jack says as he and Viv bow their heads.

"Oh stop that!" You say.

"Where's he taking you?!" Becky asks excitedly.

"He just said dinner and...um…" your fierce blush returns.

"Oooh! My girl's  _ finally _ gonna get laid!" Jack jumps up and down in his seat.

"Probably just a kiss. You know how she is." Viv replies.

"Well come on! Let's hurry back to the dorm! We gotta help you pick out an outfit!" Becky says and pushes everyone out of their seats.

You laugh, nervously.

* * *

"Seriously?" The old waitress cleans up the table you and your friends were at five minutes prior.

"What is it now, Grace? No tip?" Another waiter comes around.

"No, they gave me a tip. I just don't understand why these youngins' nowadays waste money." She motions to your untouched small size milkshake.

"Maybe they weren’t hungry?" The waiter shrugs and walks away.

"That damn girl never eats." Grace murmurs under her breath as she cleans the table.

* * *

You're sitting on one of the comfy leather chairs in your dorm lobby. You sit properly in your sparkling dress, hands clenched together on top of your knee, and head held high. An acting technique you learned yourself to quiet the nerves.

You wish you could say you were nervous about the date. You suppose you are, in a way. But not the whole date. Not even about the possible "dessert".

No. You were nervous, maybe more  _ terrified _ , of the upcoming dinner.

_ He's going to find out.  _

_ No he won't. If your friends of many years couldn't there's no way he will. _

_ He's going to find out. He's going to find out and that'll be the end of it. _

_ Please, you've seen the women on him in his club. He'll love it. _

_ Yeah… _

"There's my darling!" 

You snap out of it and turn your head to see Lucifer, in a well pressed suit, walking through the entryway to you.

"Lucifer!" You have a genuine surprised smile on your face, momentarily forgetting the nerves, and rush over to him. 

He chuckles as you two embrace and he kisses your cheek, "I thought you'd text me when you were outside!"

"And miss you looking positively  _ powerful  _ in that chair? Heaven forbid." He gives you his classic flirtatious smile, making you blush and laugh.

"Come along, darling!" He holds his arm out to you and you take it, "Let the celebration begin!"

* * *

Lucifer takes you to what has to be the most expensive restaurant in LA. 

You're both led to a corner of the vast room. It's pretty dark, lit only by a single candle on the clothed table and a dim lamp on the wall. As you skim through the menu looking for the cheapest, and smallest, meal possible, Lucifer interrupts your searching when he orders an appetizer.

He chuckles slightly at your raised brows, "Yes, I suppose I should have asked you first, but this dish is delectable darling. You'll love it! Plus, it's cut in shared pieces."

You smile back and hope the dim lighting hid your gulp.

The waiter comes back with the large shared appetizer and asks what you two would like for the main course.

Lucifer stops you again before you can answer, "If you don't mind, my dear, I'd love to get this meal here." He points to an item on your menu, and it happened to be the one thing you avoided eye contact with. It's a fairly large dish with various slices of steak and vegetables. In the small print of the description it says that this dish is suggested for parties.

"It happens to be one of their best, and since this is your 21st birthday I believe you deserve the largest and tastiest item here!" Lucifer smiles brightly at you, teeth and all.

You clutch the menu to not show your shaking body. You give him a small smile back, "Oh Lucifer, you know I don't consider myself as one of those people who think they deserve the best of everything."

"Of course and that's one of the many reasons I adore you, but darling," he leans in slightly. His hypnotic eyes and smile are lite beautifully by the candle, "You're the  _ Devil's  _ partner now. You deserve, and will always  _ get  _ the best."

You swallow again, but not from nerves. This time it was completely heat based.

* * *

The dinner went surprisingly...well!

Lucifer never questioned about your slow eating. Never pushed more food on you. Instead, he made you feel extremely comfortable. He told the waiter to not come back unless he holds his hand up, and you noticed the other tables around you haven't been filled with people.

It was just you and Lucifer, pretty much. Enjoying some amazing food and having wonderful conversations. You felt so at home you ate more than you probably did since...well, freshman year of high school.

Him seeming to work so hard to make you comfortable did make you wonder though…

Currently, you are sitting on Lucifer's stupidly comfortable Italian sofa, watching some mind numbing television. You still wore your dress, but now you had Lucifer's suit jacket over top and shoes off.

"Happy Birthday to you…" You could hear Lucifer's voice faintly coming from his back kitchen. You stretch your neck to look in that direction.

"Happy Birthday to you!" Lucifer comes around the corner. He's carrying a serving tray that holds two wine glasses, a bottle of wine, and a cute little cake.

"Happy Birthday, my darling Y/N!" He sets the tray down in front of you on the coffee table and sits next to you.

"Happy Birthday to you!" He smiles lovingly at you, and your heart is about ready to explode. You give him a hug along with a kiss on his forehead, nose, and cheeks before blowing out your candles.

"What did you wish for, darling?" He asks. You curl into his open arms.

"Can't say, Lucifer. Otherwise it won't come true."

He huffs, but kisses your head, "Silly humans and their superstitions." You both enjoy the comfortable silence before he speaks again.

"Care for a bite, darling? Made it myself this morning."

"Umm…" you froze. Your mind became increasingly aware with just  _ how  _ much food you ate today, "Maybe in the morning. I'm pretty full right now."

Lucifer just hums in response, and that just makes your suspicion about tonight grow.

You lift yourself up, still in his arms but far enough away to look him in the eyes correctly, "Lucifer...I have a question."

He just hums again.

"Do you...um," you swallow and feel the color of embarrassment rise on your cheeks, "Do you...know?"

He hums again before answering, "In part." You instantly deflate and go to move away from him, but he pulls you back just as quick. His hand runs through your hair in a calming motion, "It's nothing to be ashamed about, Y/N."

"How did you figure it out? My friends haven't even realized it."

"Well, when I saw you look just the same after so many years it worried me. Typically I hear from young women the dreaded 'after school 20'. It seems that phase has passed you, dear."

You sigh, "Yeah well, I can't remember exactly when or how it happened, but sometime in sophomore year I started having trouble with eating in a public setting. I couldn't even eat over at friends' homes. Only in my own." You curl your legs up to hold them. Lucifer continues to stroke your hair, "And then I met you and...well…I figured I wouldn't tell anyone and just deal with it. I was a chubby kid, and I was amazed with how much weight I lost so fast."

"Well, I am quite upset to hear that you thought I'd be ok with you starving yourself." Lucifer frowns and you look surprised at him.

"But...a lot of women who are all over you look like me, even less! And you're all over them! I thought-"

"I'm into  _ human _ women, darling. Not porcelain dolls."

You look away from him. Tears brim your vision, "So, what? Are you disgusted with me now? Or did you just ask me out out of pity?"

"If I was disgusted by you I wouldn't have asked you to be mine, and I don't do  _ pity _ , darling." Lucifer hears you sniffle.

"My darling Y/N," Lucifer Morningstar becomes incredibly soft. He gently brings his hands to your face and nudges you to look at him, "I've come to care  _ deeply  _ about you, love. And I don't enjoy seeing someone I care that much about in turmoil." He wipes your tears away.

"Allow me to help, darling. You keep going like this...I'm afraid I'll have you for even less time." 

You stare into his eyes and can see nothing but truth. Your hands move to hold his face gently. Rubbing his stubble, you slowly bring your face closer. Closing your eyes you and him kiss. Soft, sweet, filled with an unspoken love and promise.

"Ok, Lucifer. Please, help me."


End file.
